That's Enough Internet For Today- Master-Mater

Every now and again, I catch myself hunched over my phone with the posture of a fucking jumbo shrimp as I am furiously 'doom-scrolling' until I find something so odd that it makes me question the future of this world.

Typically, the posts that stop me dead in my tracks are sexual in nature, and sometimes they are not sexual at all. But no matter what they are, they are always weird enough to make me wonder- Why the fuck does this even exist?

Today, that question arose when I bumped into this post by an account that I promise I don't follow…

Listen… I don't typically kink-shame anyone, and I have long been a fan of cartoons that are porn-adjacent…

Or porn that is cartoon-adjacent…

But catching the image in the bathroom mirror of you face fucking Mater from 'Cars' has got to be an all-time low for anyone (plus those buck teeth look problematic), and it's certainly enough to have me shut down my computer because I've truly had enough of the internet for today.

Take a report.

-Large

As a palate cleanser, here's a wholesome video of me eating scones in the East Village…

TAR

-L